I remember what it felt like to push down my soul’s true desires, while turning into someone
I thought those I looked up to wanted me to be.
As a kid I went from a creative, unicorn loving, daisy picking daydreamer who spent her free time learning about spells and witchcraft, to a depressed teenager who used drugs and alcohol to feel normal, fun, and in touch with my body. The party girl always felt safe, like someone people wanted me to be.
I worked in a nightclub, pouring drinks for unforgettable shows while keeping the party going until morning (night after night), sacrificing sleep, balance, and eventually my well-being. Turned hairdresser with only slightly better habits.
“As things naturally started shifting in my life, I had the courage to follow the call instead of fight it like I had for years before.”
Is your inner guide your critic
or your coach?
A few years later, as my health was declining with chronic strep throat, brain fog, skin and digestive issues, I had no choice but to begin making new choices. More often than not, when these changes I was experiencing felt too scary to bear, I had tools to fall back on. In times of uncertainty, I could look at a blueprint that told me I was on the right path, and as I slowly allowed myself to listen to that soft voice of intuition guiding me, the evidence was clear. The more I tend to the little daily rituals of tuning into my body and the frequency of the energetic field around me, the more coincidences and synchronicities present themselves, and the more peace, genuine happiness, confidence and courage I can feel expanding. Not to mention the manifestations that were finally showing up. We are all so unique on our very unique path, and there are so many ways we can play with the energy - if we so choose.
When I was in a period of stagnancy. I reached out to an Astrologer for my first ever reading, and she told me I wouldn’t recognize myself in a few years time. In that moment I couldn’t understand how, as I was only experiencing repeated cycles leading to benders, bad decisions, and depression.
Astrology is one of the tools that gave me permission to find my way back to my authentic self. To have the courage to put the mask down for a second, and remember who I was before I thought I needed to be someone else. It opened the door to self-reflection of the unique energy, gifts, and challenges I’m here to experience in this lifetime, mapping out direct channels of growth that with aligned action, and practical input, gives us the power to completely change, upgrade, and improve our quality of life, and trajectory.